I read a Momastery post, and if you haven’t discovered Glennon Doyle Melton, it is high time you did! Very girl power, and I think we could all use a little girl power, no? ;)
Anyway, she wrote about how we women take pride in being a serious threat to each other. Not violently, of course. I’m willing to bet there are very few female fight clubs but there certainly is an epidemic of women starving themselves to be “beautiful.” And most of that pressure didn’t come from the men… It’s a sneaky kind of fight that is waged woman against woman. We want women to look at us and think, Crap! She is so much better than me, as if by making another woman feel lower, it changes something.
But if you think about it, what does it do for us? And what does it say about us that we want to make other women feel insecure and lesser by simply stepping into a room? If you think about our pooled intelligence, creativity, persistence and wisdom, pitting us against each other is such a tragic waste of our resources.
We’ve been conditioned to compete in everything from how we parent our kids to that ridiculous, undying fight to look as young as we can for as long as we can. And a woman feels like she’d won something when another woman sees her as a threat. (Yes, I’ve still got it!) But if you take all that drive to win and succeed and channel it differently, big things could happen. Glennon puts it this way:
I do not want to be a threat to you. I want to invite you to join arms with me and together I want US to become a REAL THREAT TO what needs changing. I want us to be WARRIORS together—for love, truth, peace, justice, children, the weak, the poor and the needy. I want apathy and fear and violence and poverty to SHAKE IN THEIR BOOTS WHEN THEY SEE US MARCHING TOGETHER TOWARDS THEM.
Perhaps when we get old enough and wise enough, we can see more than the men we want to entice and broaden our view to see the world that we want to change. I’m not your enemy. I’ll never flirt with the man you love, and I’ll never try to make you feel less than me. Together, we can do big things, ladies, and I think we are still a major threat!
There is a whole generation of girls who are looking to us (sideways, cautiously, never wanting us to know it) to see how this whole “womanhood” thing is done. We need to show them something better. We need to show them what they can do–give them some ideas about how to use that wealth of talent, drive and bravery that they wield!
You. Me. All of us. Let’s be stronger and wiser. Let’s be kinder and braver. And let’s pull together as women and threaten the hell out of the things that need to be stamped out.
NOT each other. Heavens no, not each other.