I’m going to tell you a secret. The first time I saw this posted, it was done so by a woman who had broken up someone else’s marriage.
But I still agree with the sentiment. (And to women who like to poach in other women’s territory, I have to say… if you can get him, he’s easily swiped! Chances are someone else will be able to lure him off with a candy bar or something, and then don’t come crying to us about it.)
But I do think that there is an awful lot that we women bring to the men in our lives. And I don’t mean cooking or cleaning or looking cute. I mean– Well, here’s the list:
- We’re intuitive to what’s really bugging them.
They’re grumpy and irritable and have no idea why, but we know about the pressure at work or the argument with their brother. We know their buttons and with a little thought, we can normally figure out what’s bugging them. That’s invaluable!
- We can remind them of what’s important.
Whether that’s the financial goal you set together or the fact that checking work emails on the weekend will only stress everyone out, you have the power to bring him back to center. Sometimes, the most important thing he needs to hear is that you love him.
- We’re smart.
And that’s a huge contribution. The old-fashioned idea that a man should make all the decisions and the woman should just blithely follow is actually a lot harder on men than a free-thinking partner! Two heads are better than one, and if things don’t work out according to plan, he doesn’t have to feel like he’s single-handedly let down his entire family. Two partners share the victories AND the disappointments.
- Opposites attract.
So his strengths probably aren’t yours. If you’re good at fixing things around the house, he might make fantastic bread. If he’s quieter, you might be the friendly face of the home. However you complement each other, opposites attract for a reason.
- We know where they need to be built up.
You have the inside view on his heart. You know where he’s sensitive or where he fails to see his own strengths, and that’s where you can do the most good. Sometimes he needs to hear it: that he’s a good man, that he’s smart, that he works hard, or that he still makes your heart go pitter-pat. If they get knocked down outside your home, when they come back they should be able to count on a soft place to fall.
They contribute to our happiness, too, but don’t discount what you bring to the table! Childcare can be hired. Cooks and housekeeping, too. But a loving woman by his side for life? That’s priceless.