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They say that it isn’t your enemies you need to be worrying about. For the most part, your enemies don’t get you into trouble–your friends do.

 

root-agains

Now, some people see that as a sign of an exceptional friendship–the ones who get into trouble with you. They joke that a good friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will have been arrested with you.

I’m… not that kind of person.

I’m careful about my friendships. First of all, my free time is scarce and I want to spend time with people who are mutually beneficial. I work really hard, and I don’t want to undo that hard work in my downtime. Secondly, I’m the kind of person who enjoys a few close friends. It’s my personality type. So if I’m going to be influenced by only a few people, I need to make sure they are the kind of people I want to be rubbing off on my life. Kind people. Moral, compassionate, resourceful people. I don’t have to agree with my friends on everything, but I do have to be able to trust them.

Here’s how I see it:

If you have a goal for your life–an ideal you are struggling to attain–then I think a good question to ask yourself is how your friends are affecting that. Because some people will be incredibly well-meaning, and muddle up your life at every turn. It doesn’t make them bad people; it just means you aren’t going in the same direction.

So let’s say there’s a Very Important Person who can give you exactly what you’ve been working for all these years… But she knows nothing about you and has to figure you out based upon ten minutes spent with your friends… what would she think about you based upon those few minutes?

Would she want to help you in your goals? Be associated with you? Would she trust you?

And are you okay with how you appear by your associations?

It might be unfortunate, but people see us through the lens of our friends–the people we associate with. So I’m careful.

But that’s me. 😉

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